Splashhh… I feel the wave of water coming over my face after someone has jumped into my pool without warning. Once the water is calm again I look at the person responsible for the mini tsunami and point to the sign at the edge of the pool. “Did you notice the sign” I ask. “What sign?” The sign that says, please do not enter without asking first. “It’s right next to the sign which says this is a private pool”.
We alle have our own pool in life. This is the space around us where we feel save and where we find our peace. Imagine people walking around you with their own pool around them and you get to the edge of their pool. People do put signs up to announce that this area is private and if you want to enter to please ask before you do so.
In their enthusiasm people tend to forget about the signs and jump in. Me, I’m very protective of my personal space. I like to have some peace and quiet sometimes to think about things, to reflect or to do absolutely nothing. If I’m writing or find myself in the middle of a creative flow I rely on my pool edge.
I have noticed that the people who jump into my pool usually think that it’s OK because I’m such a kind person. I’m very helpful to others and I can get enthusiastic too. My kindness is sometimes mistaken for an open poolparty. People forget to read my sign because I was so nice and so helpful. The expectations of my willingness to help out is often high. They do not think of the risk of over asking someone.
If they have jumped in like a big elephant again I feel the need to tell them nicely to mind the sign. Unfortunately the kind approach to the trespasser is not effective. I recently discovered that I need to be direct to get my sign noticed.
I have learned that if you don’t take good care of yourself, you won’t be able to be there for others. So my pool edge is my way of taking care of me. People are welcome to visit, but their are some ‘rules’ to my hospitality and kindness. I’ve struggled with this system, because I have to decide if I choose for my well being or that of others. Well, I say, let’s be kind to ourselves and tell others about our pool edge.
So, elephants are welcome at my pool, but I’ve made the edge a bit higher so the boundary to my own space is more visible to them.
I so recognize this. Being kind and helpfull while people enter your boundries. I m still learning to communicate my boundries better.